Middle school for me happened when I was 5th standard. Few things changed completely in my life. I kind of became a different person then. I use to be a pretty energetic and normal kid up till then; I guess until 7th was really tough times because I was still struggling to come to terms with who I was and what I wanted. When I came to 8th standard, our school made one change; they split the class into 2 sections. This is when I kind of went separate ways with the few long time school friends I had. Here I became close with two new kids. We would share the same desk. I really don’t know how, but they somehow assumed that I was the smart one of the three; when I say smart I mean studious one. I never thought about contradicting them somehow, so I became the certified “desk” nerd from that time. My sisters used to be in the same school as me; and yes, unlike me they were pretty popular in school. They were the class toppers, school rep for functions and all that type. So I guess I assumed some tag is better then none.
I never really cared much about school grading system or scores etc. But my report card would make my mom react in strange ways; usually in not so nice ways.
But with my new acquired title of desk nerd I had the responsibility of holding the baton and making sure the reputation of the desk wasn’t let down. So I kind of started making sure I got reasonably good grades. My mom kind of stopped going ballistic whenever she saw my report card, so I guess it wasn’t so bad being a nerd. Then things let from this to that and I guess I became from desk to something of the class nerd.
9th standard again my principle made me change my section; I stopped sharing the same desk with my 2 friends, and gradually we became distant.
Things kind of changed completely after this. Up till 8th boys were made to wear shorts. 9th I guess the school authority somehow assumed was the right age for boys to turn to men. So we started wearing full-pants, we were the big boys in school.
I guess around these time things were changing for my classmates as well. The boy somehow seemed to be suddenly more interested in the girls and the girls were a little gigglier then before.
Around the same time was when I found one of my passions, Bruce Wayne. I so badly wanted to be Bruce Wayne, I so worshipped him. All my daytime dreams, escapades as Bruce Wayne I’ll post another time.
will she ever see me...
Last few weeks I’ve gotten back in touch with a couple of my old guy friends from college; all nice sincere folks who’ve pretty much had the same lame life as me till date. Pretty much the same kind of problems and issues seem to plague these folks as well. And one of the serious questions that seems to be worrying most of them is why girls don’t take them seriously? Ok more specifically, why don’t “The Girl” they want take them seriously?
Not really sure if this is a universal problem or just a problem amongst a bunch of “quarter life crisis” ‘ed techies.
Things seems to have gone as per plan so far, most of these folks have pretty much had it easy work-wise with things coming by without much of a fight. And until recently life seems to have been going pretty well off-work as well; then boom you see her. Not as much as see her, but you feel her presence around you. This is when things seem to go haywire; you suddenly start searching her face in every new person you meet.
You’ve never really truly cared much about how people around you feel about you; well it’s always nice if they like you, but you’ve never ever had to put in any form of serious effort onto it. Now you see her, you suddenly want to put in all sort of that extra effort and even don’t mind the occasional egg on the face routine once in a while. But in-spite of all these extra effort you put in, this one person never seems to notice or seems to care.
Maybe this is the problem; maybe we just need to be ourselves. But whilst one’s under this magical presence 24/7 it’s really pretty hard to be your own normal self.
I guess deep down we all do know it’s truly impossible to force someone to like you. But we all live under the illusionary pretense of hope. And when this hope is as pretty as her, we all will keep trying.
Not really sure if this is a universal problem or just a problem amongst a bunch of “quarter life crisis” ‘ed techies.
Things seems to have gone as per plan so far, most of these folks have pretty much had it easy work-wise with things coming by without much of a fight. And until recently life seems to have been going pretty well off-work as well; then boom you see her. Not as much as see her, but you feel her presence around you. This is when things seem to go haywire; you suddenly start searching her face in every new person you meet.
You’ve never really truly cared much about how people around you feel about you; well it’s always nice if they like you, but you’ve never ever had to put in any form of serious effort onto it. Now you see her, you suddenly want to put in all sort of that extra effort and even don’t mind the occasional egg on the face routine once in a while. But in-spite of all these extra effort you put in, this one person never seems to notice or seems to care.
Maybe this is the problem; maybe we just need to be ourselves. But whilst one’s under this magical presence 24/7 it’s really pretty hard to be your own normal self.
I guess deep down we all do know it’s truly impossible to force someone to like you. But we all live under the illusionary pretense of hope. And when this hope is as pretty as her, we all will keep trying.
life or something like it...
It fluctuates between the absolute high and the depressing lows. There’s very little in between. As we let time pass, knowing that so many things can happen if we just push it a little harder, maybe give few things a chance. But that’s life and all its little complexities. You seldom actually take charge of things. “Go with the flow, swim when the tide’s high and duck when you see a branch.”
But then sometime you do look longingly at that far-off island where the water seems so much nicer, it’s a tad bit sunnier, and where the flowers and birds seem somehow slightly more colorful and prettier.
But maybe in between all these you tend to forget you already might be in your own personal heaven.
You are just not appreciating it enough.
But then sometime you do look longingly at that far-off island where the water seems so much nicer, it’s a tad bit sunnier, and where the flowers and birds seem somehow slightly more colorful and prettier.
But maybe in between all these you tend to forget you already might be in your own personal heaven.
You are just not appreciating it enough.
we all are hurting more...
We humans have this constant tendency of surprising ourselves by doing exactly what we’ve all along thought we’ll never ever be doing. We love to live under the illusion that we’ll be able to control our thoughts and deeds all the times. Every time we see people around us react to certain tricky situations, we are pretty quick to jump the gun and offer unsolicited advice; and we more often then not think about how we’ll be able to handle it so much better then him or her.
But when we ourselves are the one’s facing the firing squad, most times we’ll end up doing worst then others; at least that’s how we all mostly feel. I’ve kind of come to admire the tendency of some of my friends, of being there to listen rather then speak (I am pretty lucky in that I’ve so many good people around me).
Also one thing I’ve come to realize is you can never quantify hurt. Everything hurts, whether a tiny thorn or a punch in your guts; hurt is hurt. Best we can do is respect that thought.
-- amen
But when we ourselves are the one’s facing the firing squad, most times we’ll end up doing worst then others; at least that’s how we all mostly feel. I’ve kind of come to admire the tendency of some of my friends, of being there to listen rather then speak (I am pretty lucky in that I’ve so many good people around me).
Also one thing I’ve come to realize is you can never quantify hurt. Everything hurts, whether a tiny thorn or a punch in your guts; hurt is hurt. Best we can do is respect that thought.
-- amen
where art thou
Oh the blasphemy! Oh the sacrilege!
Just think how it’ll feel if you’ve build a lake, picking each and every individual drop with love and care; and suddenly see the lake’s evaporate right in front of you.
How would you feel if you’ve build a garden of love; each and every flower handpicked; all these to just get wiped out in a hurricane?
Oh the pain, the lost!!
With no rags to pick on, we’ll have to re-build the world just like Noah. But at least Noah had his family and God’s heavenly instructions… what do I’ve with me L…
Oh lord, my poor iPod, where art thou!!
All of 25gb of songs… where will I get thee now?
Lord give me courage!!!
Just think how it’ll feel if you’ve build a lake, picking each and every individual drop with love and care; and suddenly see the lake’s evaporate right in front of you.
How would you feel if you’ve build a garden of love; each and every flower handpicked; all these to just get wiped out in a hurricane?
Oh the pain, the lost!!
With no rags to pick on, we’ll have to re-build the world just like Noah. But at least Noah had his family and God’s heavenly instructions… what do I’ve with me L…
Oh lord, my poor iPod, where art thou!!
All of 25gb of songs… where will I get thee now?
Lord give me courage!!!
It's never simple!!!
Once ever so often, things happen where you truly don't know how to react... few things, which you can never be truly prepared for!!!
I wouldn't go into details about the personal events which has happened in the recent past; not really bestseller material... but I would definitely like to mention that such events make you understand yourself a lot better, and how well you react to them can make your life just a little bit better, or a lot more worst.
When all commonsense flies out of the window, and only instinct s what’s left to defend your position; best thing we can do is take a step backwards and let time take it’s toll.
Haste seldom pays!!!
-- amen
I wouldn't go into details about the personal events which has happened in the recent past; not really bestseller material... but I would definitely like to mention that such events make you understand yourself a lot better, and how well you react to them can make your life just a little bit better, or a lot more worst.
When all commonsense flies out of the window, and only instinct s what’s left to defend your position; best thing we can do is take a step backwards and let time take it’s toll.
Haste seldom pays!!!
-- amen
just too good to pass!!!
few days back there was a CL match at Chelsea's homeground!!!
This is a commentary from a local "desi" correspondent who was watching it live :)
Felt just too good to pass...
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Match kaafi romanchak raha.. donon taraf se do-do goal huye pehle aur second half me, magar result bataya gaya 4-0 hua hai;
to baad me clarification ke saath bataya gaya … ki half time me sab log andar aapas me shirt badalne nahi gaye, balki wohi shirt pehenke dusare taraf se khel rahe the.
--- Dinesh Mayengbam straight from Stamford Bridge!!!
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
This is a commentary from a local "desi" correspondent who was watching it live :)
Felt just too good to pass...
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Match kaafi romanchak raha.. donon taraf se do-do goal huye pehle aur second half me, magar result bataya gaya 4-0 hua hai;
to baad me clarification ke saath bataya gaya … ki half time me sab log andar aapas me shirt badalne nahi gaye, balki wohi shirt pehenke dusare taraf se khel rahe the.
--- Dinesh Mayengbam straight from Stamford Bridge!!!
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
but then again!!!
The right thing to do is generally always the hardest thing to do... no wonder we all end up being in some mess at some point in our lives. Most times you march straight into the pit inspite of seeing it right in front of you. Then we fall into the usual traps of regret, deplore maybe even remorse or repent!! Which ultimately leads to no good most times!!!
My word, few mistakes are irreversible!! If only we'ld get 2nd shot in everything we do!!!
trickle, not a splash...
the other evening, I was talking to a real close friend, as usual I was my grumpy self. My friend patiently listened to all my complains, cribs and doled out quite a few consoling words... he then made me realize a few things; few things which I hadn't been able to quite put my fingers on earlier. He made me realize that I was happier when I could help out, in whatever small way possible, the people whom you really care about... like that moment he was happy that he could calm me down by just being there to listen to me.
simple as it may sound, these little things are all that makes up happiness in one's life... and we should start cherishing these little moments.
simple as it may sound, these little things are all that makes up happiness in one's life... and we should start cherishing these little moments.
miles to go before we meet
Long distance relationship, not that I've personally spent much energy or time on it, but I have observed a few from really close quarters; and my word, is it not hard to maintain, sustain rather? No matter how old the relationship, what kind of person involved, it definitely needs a lot of extra care and nurturing which can at times be really painful!!! At times it leads you to start doubting the very core of a relationship.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder; and so the saying goes... but when you put time into the picture it really takes a beating.
I am not a total cynic; I've actually come to terms with a lot of things within myself and have concluded that I am not totally heartless. So I'll not make any conclusions and give it total thumbs down. But I am pretty sure, whoever's come off this successfully will have a long and happy aftermath...
--amen
Distance makes the heart grow fonder; and so the saying goes... but when you put time into the picture it really takes a beating.
I am not a total cynic; I've actually come to terms with a lot of things within myself and have concluded that I am not totally heartless. So I'll not make any conclusions and give it total thumbs down. But I am pretty sure, whoever's come off this successfully will have a long and happy aftermath...
--amen
Is there anybody at all looking at the real problem?
Once again the politicians in India have shown their true colors. Not one party is truly concerned about the issues faced by the common man at large. The most important issue that they are facing right now is the rising inflation, rising food prices. Not one of them seems truly concerned of the plight that the people are truly facing.
There should be a way we as common man should be able to stop this shameless fiasco happening in the “House of the Honorables”… a general election is the last thing we need when the situation is so bad.
When will we ever get a party who truly is serious about doing something good?
When will India get the leaders it truly needs? For far too long we've gotten only the leaders we deserve!!!
There should be a way we as common man should be able to stop this shameless fiasco happening in the “House of the Honorables”… a general election is the last thing we need when the situation is so bad.
When will we ever get a party who truly is serious about doing something good?
When will India get the leaders it truly needs? For far too long we've gotten only the leaders we deserve!!!
Dump the junk!!!
Many a times in history, criticizing religion has been seen in the same light as criticizing God, or his infinite wisdom. This to me sounds more like some form of scare tactics used in order to tug the few left on the fence onto the side of the defined norms. Over history and time, each and every new invention has had there day in the sun until they are transitioned, onto better, improved versions or are discarded as they expire their utility; this is the law of evolution. The moment you stop this, you fail to evolve and you are stuck in a time warp.
This is where we come to think of the ideology that is known to us as religion. Don’t get me wrong here, I am a confirmed agnostic. I truly don’t know if there is a God or we are just here all by ourselves. But hear me out; that is not the issue here. Religion has had its time and has given all it has to offer to humanity, and its evolutionary history. But its way past its due date; the human species should have abandoned this ideology a long time ago. Hasn’t it caused enough pain in the world already?
If you’ve been listening to something all your life, it’s really hard not to instinctively start trusting it. Its just human nature, familiarity breeds trust. This is the one single reason, if you ask me, which has resulted in the prolonged propagation of this belief in religion. We’ve are told about religion, asked to follow it even before we can differentiate between good and bad, the idea is almost shoved down our throat; I am not blaming our parents or saying they didn’t mean well for us. I am just questioning the logic behind following a set norm, generation after generation without questioning its validity. I am sure a lot of us know better then this now. We as a single species should collectively move away from this norm and not stall the natural evolution of mankind towards a better more improved version of itself.
Religion just sucks!!!
This is where we come to think of the ideology that is known to us as religion. Don’t get me wrong here, I am a confirmed agnostic. I truly don’t know if there is a God or we are just here all by ourselves. But hear me out; that is not the issue here. Religion has had its time and has given all it has to offer to humanity, and its evolutionary history. But its way past its due date; the human species should have abandoned this ideology a long time ago. Hasn’t it caused enough pain in the world already?
If you’ve been listening to something all your life, it’s really hard not to instinctively start trusting it. Its just human nature, familiarity breeds trust. This is the one single reason, if you ask me, which has resulted in the prolonged propagation of this belief in religion. We’ve are told about religion, asked to follow it even before we can differentiate between good and bad, the idea is almost shoved down our throat; I am not blaming our parents or saying they didn’t mean well for us. I am just questioning the logic behind following a set norm, generation after generation without questioning its validity. I am sure a lot of us know better then this now. We as a single species should collectively move away from this norm and not stall the natural evolution of mankind towards a better more improved version of itself.
Religion just sucks!!!
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